It’s been a while. I always say I’ve been meaning to update this blog, but this time, if I were to be honest, I just haven’t had it front of mind in a while. I’ve been pretty distracted by video games and a new job. It doesn’t help either that winter is a depressing season, and the Omicron variant kind of exacerbated it twenty times over.
I did catch COVID-19, or at least, some sort of illness in early January, but I never got tested because ho ho ho, the Ontario government told us that they didn’t have the testing capacity to test everyone, so a lot of people just got sick around that time period and were just asked to stay home. The Ontario provincial elections are happening this summer, by the way, so I’m going to be my darndest to make sure Doug Ford and his Conservative cronies don’t get re-elected because nobody wants private healthcare or more cuts to education.
It’s been a while. I’ve been meaning to write a blog update for a while now, but I just haven’t gotten around to it. It just feels like there’s been a lot to unload, so I don’t quite know where to begin.
I moved out, of course. I no longer live with my parents. It’s been a huge lift of weight off my shoulders. I can just do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, without someone silently judging me for every decision. It’s been great to that extent.
I’ve been procrastinating on this blog post lately. Or well, procrastinating since Saturday morning. It’s Sunday night at the moment. This was also supposed to be a post about my birthday and my birthday weekend. About how disappointing and depressing it was.
Having two lockdown/pandemic birthdays in a row has sucked. Getting yelled at or getting passive aggressive barbs thrown at me this weekend has sucked. Having few people acknowledge my birthday in real life, in person, audibly, has sucked. Having your work month scheduled out for you for the next month with last minute deadlines has sucked.
I’m writing this at 2:30 AM in the morning, so I’m not particularly coherent. I’m tired and sleepy, but I need to jot this down as I’ve been procrastinating on blogging out my feelings for the past month or so.
I’m in a mood again. Last night, it felt like I was on a high. I watched Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stream Among Us for five hours and laughed and smiled for most of it. I went to bed smiling and laughing. I couldn’t remember the last time I was so relaxed and happy. It felt like I was on a serotonin high. It was a strange feeling because the last time I felt like this, it was maybe two years ago.
I was smiling and laughing for nearly half of that Twitch stream. AOC, Hasan, and Corpse Husband put on such an excellent stream, I didn’t have the thought of presently being a life failure even once during those few hours. I laughed and I clapped. It never felt contrived. I never felt forced to react in a certain. I was just enjoying myself. There was no pressure to react negatively or positively.
Since I’ve been on Habitica, I’ve been more sensitive lately on what sort of productivity I’ve been putting out in the world and what I want to accomplish in my life beyond the usual life and career goals. That is, more than the usual “get rich and travel” mantra.
I got over 12 hours of sleep last night and woke up with a slight headache – perhaps from oversleeping? – so I am suddenly in the mood to jot down a list of things I want to accomplish in the near future.
Last month’s blogging exercise has proven to be somewhat productive. I’m here less than a month later writing out my feelings because I actually need an outlet today.
I had a job interview today. Two of them back to back for the same job and company. I already know that I didn’t get it. I know that it’s shooting myself in the foot, and maybe it is, but I have no optimism for my future anymore. I go to interviews for jobs I know I’m a shoo-in for because the role is nearly word for word what I’ve done previously in a last job – and it’s an unique position that not many people have the skills – and yet, and yet, I won’t get an offer.
Seven hundred. That’s the number of new COVID-19 cases in Ontario today. Can you believe it?! That’s a higher daily number than what we had in the spring. Unbelievable.
Okay, granted, we were doing less testing in the spring than we are now, but still, that is crazy. Here I was, thinking that we’ll go back to normal-ish in the fall, and I’ll be able to pop into the cinema to watch the new Wonder Woman movie in October… Nope. Not happening anymore.
Although I wrote almost an entire blog on a video game I’ve been playing a lot lately in my last entry, I haven’t written a proper blog on the actual video game I’ve been spending way more time on this past year. I won’t give too many details just yet, but man, because it’s a MMORPG, some players really drive me insane.