Housing clock by Maria Ziegler

Anxiety in this economy

Alcohol is a depressant, isn’t it. Like, it makes you happy for one night and then you wake up in the morning feeling depressed again? Because it sure feels like it right now.

I just looked back on my blog entries to see when it happened, but it was this day on November 2020 – “Another roller coaster” – when I watched Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stream on Twitch with a bunch of streamers and waken me (slightly) from depression. It’s funny how I feel almost the same way today, even for different reasons.

Woman lying on the floor, by Lenin Estrada

A sudden splash of introspectiveness

I wanted to say originally that I wasn’t sure what was different about today that made me feel more introspective than usual, but I do know why: 1) Gifting a semi-stranger on the internet a small gift for going through a similar abusive experience as I did, and 2) Speaking to colleagues about weight loss.

These are two different things obviously, and I’m not sure how to put my feelings right now into words, but I felt compelled to blog about it today, so here I am.

This winter passing

It’s been a while. I always say I’ve been meaning to update this blog, but this time, if I were to be honest, I just haven’t had it front of mind in a while. I’ve been pretty distracted by video games and a new job. It doesn’t help either that winter is a depressing season, and the Omicron variant kind of exacerbated it twenty times over.

I did catch COVID-19, or at least, some sort of illness in early January, but I never got tested because ho ho ho, the Ontario government told us that they didn’t have the testing capacity to test everyone, so a lot of people just got sick around that time period and were just asked to stay home. The Ontario provincial elections are happening this summer, by the way, so I’m going to be my darndest to make sure Doug Ford and his Conservative cronies don’t get re-elected because nobody wants private healthcare or more cuts to education.

Orange, lemons, and a lime, by Tatiana Rodriguez

A half-year slump

It’s been a while. I’ve been meaning to write a blog update for a while now, but I just haven’t gotten around to it. It just feels like there’s been a lot to unload, so I don’t quite know where to begin.

I moved out, of course. I no longer live with my parents. It’s been a huge lift of weight off my shoulders. I can just do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, without someone silently judging me for every decision. It’s been great to that extent.

Sad birthday cake on the ground

This was supposed to be my birthday weekend

I’ve been procrastinating on this blog post lately. Or well, procrastinating since Saturday morning. It’s Sunday night at the moment. This was also supposed to be a post about my birthday and my birthday weekend. About how disappointing and depressing it was.

Having two lockdown/pandemic birthdays in a row has sucked. Getting yelled at or getting passive aggressive barbs thrown at me this weekend has sucked. Having few people acknowledge my birthday in real life, in person, audibly, has sucked. Having your work month scheduled out for you for the next month with last minute deadlines has sucked.