People walking in Yunnan, China

Cold shivering and alone

Last month’s blogging exercise has proven to be somewhat productive. I’m here less than a month later writing out my feelings because I actually need an outlet today.

I had a job interview today. Two of them back to back for the same job and company. I already know that I didn’t get it. I know that it’s shooting myself in the foot, and maybe it is, but I have no optimism for my future anymore. I go to interviews for jobs I know I’m a shoo-in for because the role is nearly word for word what I’ve done previously in a last job – and it’s an unique position that not many people have the skills – and yet, and yet, I won’t get an offer.

Woman statue in Belgium with a face mask

Seven hundred

Seven hundred. That’s the number of new COVID-19 cases in Ontario today. Can you believe it?! That’s a higher daily number than what we had in the spring. Unbelievable.

Okay, granted, we were doing less testing in the spring than we are now, but still, that is crazy. Here I was, thinking that we’ll go back to normal-ish in the fall, and I’ll be able to pop into the cinema to watch the new Wonder Woman movie in October… Nope. Not happening anymore.

Wine glass in Romania

Another shoutout to video games

Although I wrote almost an entire blog on a video game I’ve been playing a lot lately in my last entry, I haven’t written a proper blog on the actual video game I’ve been spending way more time on this past year. I won’t give too many details just yet, but man, because it’s a MMORPG, some players really drive me insane.

Cities Skylines Queenriver

I see you, Habitica, and I acknowledge you

Right, I’m still on that Habitica challenge where I need to write a blog every single day. It’s obviously not working because hello, pandemic, so life hasn’t been very exciting, but I need to do it. Let’s create some content for this ol’ blog.

I found out today though Habitica actually has a desktop website for their members, so I’m hoping that will help because I don’t like typing on my phone. It’s that nail-clicking noise that I hate.

Toronto waterfront

Start of the week

So that was short-lived. I’m back to feeling glum about my future again. I have it on my Habitica to look for jobs the next couple of days, but I’m not optimistic. There are only so many jobs out there nowadays, and it feels like every time I do go out looking, I see the exact same job postings over and over again but they’ve been advertising for so long. “Posted 14 days ago.” They don’t change.

So I’m not sure what to write here. I supposed it’s just to help me dump my feelings – a catharsis of sorts – even if this state of awareness has felt semi-permanent since the pandemic started.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Mural, Washington, DC

A mixture of emotions

I feel weird saying this today of all days, but I feel good today. It seems I’ve finally fixed my mucked up sleep schedule because I woke up at 7:00 AM today! I actually woke up naturally at 3:30 AM but I couldn’t pry my eyes open nor could I physically get out of bed, so I decided to sleep further to see if I could get my circadian rhythm to fix itself. Lo and behold, I woke up at 7:00 AM! I am very happy about this.

Brooklyn Bridge Park, United States

Checking off that productivity app to-do list

My JetPack plugin on WordPress tells me that there were a whopping three views on my blog a couple of weeks ago. I really want to know who was here, because this is my little corner of the Internet where I can truly be anonymous?! Ahh, it’s a little nerve-wracking that people visited my blog from somewhere. I am pretty sure I took this off all search engines, so this shouldn’t be happening.

Woman and man kissing in COVID times; Bryne, Norway

Readiness to love in a global pandemic

I haven’t been blogging everyday, but this is my third time blogging this week. Progress. Take that, Habitica.

My last blog was a huge wall of word vomit, so I want to write about something different. (Honestly though, I could’ve gone and written more if it hadn’t been 6 AM in the morning when I had written and published it.)

Let’s talk about my love life.

A girl looking out in Toronto

To where should I go

So I promised a productivity app – shout out to Habitica – a few days ago that I would write in my blog every day.

Obviously, it hasn’t worked out so far.

For the past few days, I’ve been trying to think up of a topic to write about, but there hasn’t been much. I want the stuff I write about to be something thoughtful, something that I can look back on months from now and know that I mentally or emotionally grew from it. But there hasn’t been anything substantial in my life recently that warrants a blog.

Asian lady sitting on a chair

We’re only in September

Well, this year has been catastrophic so far. I’ve barely been able to find a job, and I’ve barely been able to save enough money to maintain a lifestyle. This pandemic has killed all hopes for me. I’m scared that if I resort to part-time jobs for the time being, I’ll never be able to get back to the full-time career that I’ve been working on for the past few years.

It’s a legitimate worry even if I sometimes feel like I’m self-fulfilling the messaging the media has been delivering to the public the past several months – that millennials have been fucked over this pandemic, and it will be years before they will bounce back from this.