Category: Personal

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Mural, Washington, DC

A mixture of emotions

I feel weird saying this today of all days, but I feel good today. It seems I’ve finally fixed my mucked up sleep schedule because I woke up at 7:00 AM today! I actually woke up naturally at 3:30 AM but I couldn’t pry my eyes open nor could I physically get out of bed, so I decided to sleep further to see if I could get my circadian rhythm to fix itself. Lo and behold, I woke up at 7:00 AM! I am very happy about this.

Asian lady sitting on a chair

We’re only in September

Well, this year has been catastrophic so far. I’ve barely been able to find a job, and I’ve barely been able to save enough money to maintain a lifestyle. This pandemic has killed all hopes for me. I’m scared that if I resort to part-time jobs for the time being, I’ll never be able to get back to the full-time career that I’ve been working on for the past few years.

It’s a legitimate worry even if I sometimes feel like I’m self-fulfilling the messaging the media has been delivering to the public the past several months – that millennials have been fucked over this pandemic, and it will be years before they will bounce back from this.

Toronto rooftops

I’m still here

I’m alive. I’m still here. I moved back to Toronto mid-April, so I’ve been around for a while now. I just haven’t had the mental space to sit down and write down what it has felt like so far.

But I’ll be blunt. Moving back to my parents has been absolute shit. I fucking hate it. I hate this house and everything that it represents. I moved away to leave this place. To leave this tense atmosphere. I hate that I’m back in this house.

PureGym Canary Wharf

Two and a half months

I can’t believe it’s already February. This means I have only two and a half months left until I return home to Canada. Gosh. Now that I’ve decided to leave, it has made me realize that I’ll miss this place – the convenience of getting around anywhere (e.g. airports, public transit), the cheap groceries (e.g. Lidl, Tesco), and the history and culture.

I have time to wrap things up, but I suppose if I really want to make use of my time here, I should plan out the rest of my weekends. No more staying home and doing nothing! There’s gotta be more free stuff in London than free museums.

I have an excuse this weekend though. I twisted my lower back Thursday night, so now I’ve basically resorted to staying at home and doing nothing. I did clean the house and pick up groceries today though.

Gwanghwamun, Seoul, Korea

Last songs and last trips

First post of the new year! Hello hello. I’m going to try and make this a New Year’s resolution – to update this blog more frequently, even though I know very few people read it. If any. This is so I keep track of my thoughts and feelings, even if I’m not feeling particularly strong about something.

In terms of new things, I just came back from a two-week holiday in South Korea. I’m broke as fuck now, but not even a week back in London, I’ve already booked my next trip. Madrid. There’s a reason why I’m travelling abroad again though.

During a bike ride in Myrdal, Norway

The choices in freedom

Well, hi. I haven’t blogged here in several months. Quite a bit has changed, I suppose. I moved out of my old flat, and I did a trip to the Nordics recently (Norway, Sweden, Denmark). (Finland is somewhere on that to-visit list. Maybe when I’m a bit wealthier.)

Work has been good. My team at work won a bit of new business recently, so it’s been hectic trying to get things in order as we transfer in some of these new responsibilities.

Other than that, life has been relatively regular. I’ve been dating on and off with people I meet via apps, but nothing solid/consistent has come to fruition. My opinion on this has just been that “at least I’m trying”. At least I’m putting myself out there, right?

St. James' Park

Wake up to new perspectives

It’s my birthday today. I’m typing this while sitting on the bed of my Airbnb, a place I’m staying at temporarily until my new flatshare is ready for me to move in.

It’s been a hectic couple of months. It feels like a lot has happened.

Dawson's Creek Cast

The hours of “Dawson’s Creek”

Apparently, this year is the 20th anniversary year of the TV show¬†Dawson’s Creek. As I type this, I am listening to Paula Cole’s “I Don’t Want To Wait” on loop. What a classic.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was a big part of my preteens, as it was really the only TV show I liked and was able to watch as soon as I got home from school. Between the hour of me returning home from school to the hour of my dad returning home from work,¬†Dawson’s Creek was sort of an escape from reality, my window to how the “real world” worked outside of my strange ugly first generation Asian family culture.