Woman and man kissing in COVID times; Bryne, Norway

Readiness to love in a global pandemic

I haven’t been blogging everyday, but this is my third time blogging this week. Progress. Take that, Habitica.

My last blog was a huge wall of word vomit, so I want to write about something different. (Honestly though, I could’ve gone and written more if it hadn’t been 6 AM in the morning when I had written and published it.)

Let’s talk about my love life.

A girl looking out in Toronto

To where should I go

So I promised a productivity app – shout out to Habitica – a few days ago that I would write in my blog every day.

Obviously, it hasn’t worked out so far.

For the past few days, I’ve been trying to think up of a topic to write about, but there hasn’t been much. I want the stuff I write about to be something thoughtful, something that I can look back on months from now and know that I mentally or emotionally grew from it. But there hasn’t been anything substantial in my life recently that warrants a blog.

Asian lady sitting on a chair

We’re only in September

Well, this year has been catastrophic so far. I’ve barely been able to find a job, and I’ve barely been able to save enough money to maintain a lifestyle. This pandemic has killed all hopes for me. I’m scared that if I resort to part-time jobs for the time being, I’ll never be able to get back to the full-time career that I’ve been working on for the past few years.

It’s a legitimate worry even if I sometimes feel like I’m self-fulfilling the messaging the media has been delivering to the public the past several months – that millennials have been fucked over this pandemic, and it will be years before they will bounce back from this.

Dog wearing the cone of shame in Colombia

Mortifyingly obnoxious

Welp, this website used to be my private blog, but then I recently found out that Google is actually indexing this website so it’s showing up on search results, so this blog isn’t so private anymore. I guess that’s what you get when you don’t follow Google SEO changes as closely as you should.

In any case, I am going to refrain from blogging about anything that’s controversial. Might hamper my ability to gain employment. I believe employees have the right to vocalize their opinions online – especially in our modern-day society – but I know not all employers feel this way, so I guess there will be fewer personal blogs from now on.

I will say though, I feel absolutely terrible today. Maybe living in London has increased my compassion and empathy for others – which is likely – or maybe I’m just being overdramatic – which is also likely – but good gods, have you ever been in those moments where you just want to crawl into a hole and just die of embarrassment?

Because that’s me right now. Ugh.

Photo from: unsplash-logoIvan Rojas Urrea

Toronto rooftops

I’m still here

I’m alive. I’m still here. I moved back to Toronto mid-April, so I’ve been around for a while now. I just haven’t had the mental space to sit down and write down what it has felt like so far.

But I’ll be blunt. Moving back to my parents has been absolute shit. I fucking hate it. I hate this house and everything that it represents. I moved away to leave this place. To leave this tense atmosphere. I hate that I’m back in this house.

PureGym Canary Wharf

Two and a half months

I can’t believe it’s already February. This means I have only two and a half months left until I return home to Canada. Gosh. Now that I’ve decided to leave, it has made me realize that I’ll miss this place – the convenience of getting around anywhere (e.g. airports, public transit), the cheap groceries (e.g. Lidl, Tesco), and the history and culture.

I have time to wrap things up, but I suppose if I really want to make use of my time here, I should plan out the rest of my weekends. No more staying home and doing nothing! There’s gotta be more free stuff in London than free museums.

I have an excuse this weekend though. I twisted my lower back Thursday night, so now I’ve basically resorted to staying at home and doing nothing. I did clean the house and pick up groceries today though.

Gwanghwamun, Seoul, Korea

Last songs and last trips

First post of the new year! Hello hello. I’m going to try and make this a New Year’s resolution – to update this blog more frequently, even though I know very few people read it. If any. This is so I keep track of my thoughts and feelings, even if I’m not feeling particularly strong about something.

In terms of new things, I just came back from a two-week holiday in South Korea. I’m broke as fuck now, but not even a week back in London, I’ve already booked my next trip. Madrid. There’s a reason why I’m travelling abroad again though.

During a bike ride in Myrdal, Norway

The choices in freedom

Well, hi. I haven’t blogged here in several months. Quite a bit has changed, I suppose. I moved out of my old flat, and I did a trip to the Nordics recently (Norway, Sweden, Denmark). (Finland is somewhere on that to-visit list. Maybe when I’m a bit wealthier.)

Work has been good. My team at work won a bit of new business recently, so it’s been hectic trying to get things in order as we transfer in some of these new responsibilities.

Other than that, life has been relatively regular. I’ve been dating on and off with people I meet via apps, but nothing solid/consistent has come to fruition. My opinion on this has just been that “at least I’m trying”. At least I’m putting myself out there, right?